Meatball 101

I love pasta. Who doesn’t? And at any quality restaurant here in Scottsdale, a pasta addiction will break the bank. Fortunately, I figured out how to hack many of my favorite dishes as well as create my own. And what’s easier than a meatball?

Mainstream meatballs are often all beef, fatty beasts, riddled with Lord knows what if you’re buying the pre-cooked, freezer babies that are every college kids bff. (“I’ll boil the water, you microwave the balls, we’re getting fancy tonight!” –Said no one, ever.) But a good meatball? Well, that’s just a fine art.

Let’s get to the balls, shall we?

I use to make all turkey meatballs… But they’re a little plain for my taste, so whenever I find a good quality, spicy Italian sausage on sale, I grab a pound or two and make some meatballs. Turkey can usually be found for pretty cheap, although this new brand from Smart and Final has me a little creeped, because I can’t find shit about it online. “Where’s the turkey from?” “Idk, I just found it on the shelf!” Yum….?

Anyhoo, creep turkey aside…

I like my two kinds of meats, turkey’s for the bulk, the spicy sausage for the flavor. I use granulated onion and garlic, because once frozen, those two ingredients, diced and mixed into the balls, would be gross, I feel. Loss of moisture, transfers of moisture upon cooking, random moisture where there shouldn’t be moisture… What a gross word. So, granulated is the way to go.

Use whatever kind of Italian seasoning you want, a mix of oregano, basil and thyme kind of work universally for me. Basil can get overpowering as HELL, so go lightly.

I use eggs and breadcrumbs, just like in my turkey burgers, to keep things together. Turkey can tend to fall apart when cooked, so breadcrumbs and egg act like a glue when they’re cooked, to hold everything together. Meatloaf magic, your mom knows all about it…

There’s really no exact science to the ingredients. Usually one egg does the trick per two pounds of meat or so. A large handful of bread crumbs is usually sufficient as well, if your meatballs won’t form well and are sticking to your hands, which turkey tends to do, add more breadcrumbs until it’s easier to work with. Seasonings are really just to taste, but I use about a table spoon of each herb, a teaspoon or two of black pepper, granulated garlic and onion and just a pinch of salt.

Since I freeze mine, I use a cookie sheet with foil or wax paper so that I can freeze these bad boys then throw them into a bag.

Mix all your ingredients with your hands, but wash them first, please.

Form yo balls, plop them down, freeze them.

To reheat, just thaw them and either boil them in a tasty marinara or bake them in the oven, which is what I did in the photo above. Either way, they’re perfect, every time.

Class dismissed.